Where there is no Love

October 3, 2021

When I first started this blog back in 2017, I had this little idea that I would just put down some of the thoughts I had regarding marriage.  Maybe just some of the ideas or considerations I had about being married and directed to both husbands and wives.

A really long time ago I when I had all the kids at home someone told me that a really great idea to be way more productive was to wait until all the children and my wife had gone to bed and then spend the extra 10 to 12 hours reading or writing or working – giving  up a night’s sleep to get more done.

And so I tried it for a few weeks – what a lousy idea – it’s so disordered and messes you up – like God got it wrong with only 24 hours in a day – I had to go ahead and try to put in a 32 hour day.

more “Where there is no Love”

Do I put my spouse first?

January 16, 2022

Are you reading? Ok, but are you reading on how to be a better spouse?  I don’t read anywhere near as much as I should, but I did read an older article from Mark Merrill, and I love the impact his first words have…

Do you love your spouse more than anything else in the world?

And then he goes on to say: “Or, do you find yourself loving things, your kids, your job, or your hobbies more than your spouse? Marriage is the centerpiece of the family. Research has shown time and again that a strong marriage has immense, innumerable benefits for the kids, community, and society.

But no matter how much “in love” you are when you first get married, other things (some of them really good things!) will eventually compete for your time and affection.

Here are some ways you might be loving things, kids, career, or friends more than your spouse and what to do about them:”

Read the rest of his great article here: Do you put your spouse first

In His Sacred Heart,





January 2, 2022

I believe that every man needs and deserves some “recreation”.

Most of us, I believe, roll from one form of our ‘duty of state’ to another, with only the drive home and maybe a bathroom visit (sorry) that we can call our own.

The rest of our day is filled with home maintenance, our day job, volunteer work, helping with the kids, staying up on affairs of the world, our professional training, and maybe some physical exercise, and probably a part time job as well.

And if we have special needs children or teenagers (a special form of special needs child), and/or a wife who is overwhelmed with the pace of 21st century life, anything like free time is spent helping where we can.

<This is rambling, but stay with me>

Even Garcia Moreno, the Catholic Martyr of Ecuador allowed himself an hour a day of recreation.

“And the bow, if bent all the time, loses its ability to fire an arrow because it’s always drawn and tight.”

Recreation – or to ‘re create’ is meant to restore and repair us so that we can effectively fight again tomorrow.

But most men have no formal, regular form of recreation because they look at all their duties of state and the battle raging on all fronts, and walk back into the fire.

I believe that one of the healthiest things all of us could do is decide on, choose, and begin some form of regular even daily recreation.

Mowing the lawn, working in the garden or repairing the car doesn’t count! It’s just another one of our duties!

<Now here’s where I lose some people> But playing video games or watching movies, shows or another football game also doesn’t count!

I think it has to be something that we can do, and afterwards feel refreshed and at peace and with more energy to go back out to work tomorrow morning.

If you spend your day doing physical work, then drawing, painting, writing, reading, whittling, or any other non-productive activity is an amazing way to unwind at the end of the day – and all these activities are wife and child friendly.

And if you spend your day doing “knowledge work” like so many people – 8, 10, or 12 hours a day in front of a computer screen or in an office, then getting outside – to play a game of catch, or kickball, or just take a walk – one day for each child, and one for your wife – or anything that gives you 30 minutes of time to unwind – would be so beneficial.

There’s no time, of course, in anyone’s already crazy day to carve out 30 minutes for something so ‘useless’ as recreation.

But I’m convinced that if we did take 30 minutes a day – just for ourselves – to recreate – to “re create” – in a true manner that refreshes our bodies and souls – we would be more patient and more at peace – and good things would start to happen all over.

In His Sacred Heart,