Where there is no Love

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October 3, 2021

When I first started this blog back in 2017, I had this little idea that I would just put down some of the thoughts I had regarding marriage.  Maybe just some of the ideas or considerations I had about being married and directed to both husbands and wives.

A really long time ago I when I had all the kids at home someone told me that a really great idea to be way more productive was to wait until all the children and my wife had gone to bed and then spend the extra 10 to 12 hours reading or writing or working – giving  up a night’s sleep to get more done.

And so I tried it for a few weeks – what a lousy idea – it’s so disordered and messes you up – like God got it wrong with only 24 hours in a day – I had to go ahead and try to put in a 32 hour day.

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All Talk

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November 14, 2021

Actions prove who someone is
Words just prove who they want to be

All the books we read, and iMom.com, and AllProDad.com, and yes, the other blogs, and the other things we read or listen to for ideas on how to be better husbands and wives, and of course we pray to be better in these God given roles, but what are we doing?

I mean at the end of the day and the week, have we actually put into action any of the things we’ve read or planned to do? Not all of them, goodness no, but any of them?

I find that most of what I want to do for my marriage – the way I want to demonstrate love – the goals I have for myself to be the husband my bride deserves – most of them sit week after week in my ‘todo’ list – not done. Not accomplished. Not part of my life.

One of the beautiful things about Sunday is that it’s truly a new beginning – like the sunrises – it’s another chance for us to reflect and look back on last week to see not what we’ve said, but what we’ve done – how we’ve demonstrated love and respect for our spouse. And because God knows we’re not perfect, and we haven’t changed much from last week, we get to wipe the page clean, and try again.

Yea – we need to keep reading and studying on how to be a better spouse – we can’t stop learning the art of Marital Love – but let’s take a few short minutes on Sunday and make a plan to do something more this week to continue this work of becoming the husband or wife our spouse dreams of.

Don’t talk, just act
Don’t say, just show
Don’t promise, just prove

First among Equals

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November 7, 2021

I’ve always struggled to grasp the complexity of this idea that while the man is the head and the woman is the heart, that somehow we’re still equal.

There IS this truth that it IS all on us – that God expects us to do or handle – be responsible for – everything in our married states.  And at least for me, for the longest time along with the knowledge that we’re responsible, comes the necessary fact that we also have the last word – the final say – the ‘buck stops here’ – that we have to have the right to decide the how and why.

But then I kept reading and hearing that the husband and wife are ‘equal’ – that if anything – the wife is somehow more valuable than the husband, and I kept going back in forth in my head – how is this possible?

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Never Enough

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October 24, 2021

My wife saw the Greatest showman, and of course, I got to listen to the soundtrack (a lot), and when I first heard the song ‘Never Enough’, not being a real good listener, I heard this song of a lady for whom nothing was enough – not the stars, the fame, nothing. She wanted more and more.

Then for some reason I really listened. You know, like when you’ve tried it your way four times and can’t get it to work, and your wife’s voice, who has been quietly suggesting a different way for fifteen minutes, gets through, and you pause to listen, and it works?

it’s the four words she says right before all of the ‘never enough’ over and over again…

“Because Darling without you”…

Truly amazing and profound. And now, that song is one of my most listened to and memorized lessons. the song is a lesson for all of us. A simple powerful recipe for true, deep and forever love.

God gave us our wife to complete two pieces of a puzzle. From all eternity He saw the life you could make together with her. The amazing, and beautiful life.

I take her for granted, because it’s easy to forget how deeply in love we really are.

We race around, because that’s the world we live in, but in all the racing, I lose sight of that wonderful person that I promised my life too, one, five or fifty years ago, and she becomes part of the scenery.

Let’s take more time, because tomorrow comes and the time we wanted to spend with our truest love today can never be recovered.

And let’s consider that really, truly, without our wives,

these hands could hold the world, but it’ll never be enough…