We spend so little valuable time with our spouses, that the last thing we want to do is ruin a perfectly good Sunday. It seems like of all days, it’s the day we should reconnect and recreate that spark between each other to carry us through the rest of the week.
But I recently had the opportunity and figured out how to ruin a Sunday, and as a cautionary tale, I thought I’d share it with you.
Don’t Get enough Sleep
First, go to bed late the night before. If you’re going to ruin a beautiful day, it’s best to be over-tired. It’s hard to ruin your day if you get enough rest, so by all means, stay up too late, and maybe eat dessert, or have a couple of drinks really late so you don’t sleep well besides.
Then, in the morning, if you’re planning to ruin the day, don’t communicate with your spouse. Make a plan, but don’t include them. Now, I’m not talking about a ‘surprise’, because obviously, we want to keep that to ourselves, but on a typical Sunday morning, something as simple as taking everyone out for breakfast should be explained. Our spouse wants to be part of our thoughts, and our plans.
Be in a hurry
A really important part of ruining the day is to be in a hurry. Especially when you combine that with the above – your spouse is sure to be spinning – first, don’t tell them the plan, and then just be impatient and in a hurry – it’s sure to make matters worse.
Assume the worst
Then, and here’s the big one, then after you’ve not let them in on the plan, and been impatient, now when they don’t react like you expect, assume that their intentions are bad – accuse them of being inconsiderate. After all, you’ve had a plan for the day, and even though they didn’t know your plans, and you’ve been impatient, not to mention a little cranky due to lack of sleep, somehow they should have magically figured it all out and rolled with it.
Combine all of this, and you’re sure to fracture your Sunday into a dozen pieces.
But all is not lost. Even if you’ve pretty much ruined the day, you get to decide how it ends.
Go back to your spouse with true humility and sincerely apologize, and even if they aren’t quick to forgive you, because remember they counted on Sunday to reconnect and refresh their empty batteries and you’ve screwed it up. Even if they aren’t quick to accept your apology, love them and recognize your behavior, and ask their forgiveness, and because they do love you, they will forgive, and all will be well.
I found another marriage blog (I’m fond of marriage blogs), and an article by a wife who really nailed it. Over a hundred simple words of affirmation that husbands would love to hear, sincerely, from their wives, and not just once, but on a regular basis.
At the root of these are demonstrations of respect for your husband, and believe me, we need all we can get.
And even if some of them sound hokey, consider what’s at the root of these and find a way to say the same thing using different words. Here’s the first 10:
1) Thanks for being a great husband!
2) I’m glad you’re my friend.
3) You’re a great (are going to be a great) Dad!
4) Thanks so much for fixing that!
5) I really appreciate you.
6) When you listened to me, you made me feel loved.
7) You are my man!
8) You are my protector.
9) You are awesome!
10) Hey, do you have any plans later?
You can go to the website for the complete list here: 103 Words of Affirmation Every Man Needs to Hear
Are you reading? Ok, but are you reading on how to be a better spouse? I don’t read anywhere near as much as I should, but I did read an older article from Mark Merrill, and I love the impact his first words have…
Do you love your spouse more than anything else in the world?
And then he goes on to say: “Or, do you find yourself loving things, your kids, your job, or your hobbies more than your spouse? Marriage is the centerpiece of the family. Research has shown time and again that a strong marriage has immense, innumerable benefits for the kids, community, and society.
But no matter how much “in love” you are when you first get married, other things (some of them really good things!) will eventually compete for your time and affection.
Here are some ways you might be loving things, kids, career, or friends more than your spouse and what to do about them:”
Read the rest of his great article here: Do you put your spouse first
In His Sacred Heart,