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My boys are grown men, with wives and children of their own, so it’s a profoundly joyful time for me each year when they make it a point to visit me at the same time, and we go out to have dinner, drink beer, see a movie, and just be together.

One year we saw a movie together – martial arts, violence, etc., etc. – awesome bonding material – of course not much else in the movie was worth it – but there, right in the middle of it all a samurai warrior who is going off to die says this amazing thing to another, younger man:  “None of us knows how long he shall live or when his time will come, but soon, all that will be left of our brief lives is the pride our children feel when they speak our names.”

But when I hear it, more often I hear it slightly different, and it is this:

None of us knows how long he shall live or when his time will come, but soon, all that will be left of our brief lives is the Love our wives feel when they speak our names.

And I forget this almost all the time, but once in a while, I remember, and when I do it makes me stop and really consider what it is I’m leaving for my wife to remember me by.

I can count, sadly, the all too few love letters I’ve written my bride, but I’ve lost count of the times I’ve said a sharp word or hurt her through my pride or impatience.

How too few are the times I’ve watched a sunset while holding her hand, or walked with her, with no agenda, like nothing else was pressing, or waken her with a kiss.

And although I’ve been given several times every year to demonstrate my love for my beautiful wife, I’ve made far too few of these days important.

Instead it’s been the crush of this crazy life, tumbling me furiously like a stone in the river, flinging from one day or week to the next, and rarely connecting, and then only long enough to catch my breath before getting swept away again.

None of us knows how long we have – but what we do know is that today and tonight, and right now we do have time to demonstrate love – with a word, a note, a touch.

Here’s to whatever time we have remaining – may we all fill it with love of our wives – so the very thought of us fills their hearts with Love.

Well, there’s been a lot of pretty heavy emails lately, so I thought we’d change it up and give you something lighter.

Almost everyone has seen the video at the bottom of this post, but it’s so true, it’s worth a re-watch if you have, and a couple of watches if you haven’t.

But hold, on! Don’t make the mistake of watching this video from the wrong angle – that wives are clueless – and won’t accept simple solutions to obvious problems.

I do it more often than I care to admit.  I’m a problem solver, and when Melissa comes to me with a problem, I jump to solve it – step-by-step, with diagrams and charts – the whole 9 yards.

But how arrogant!  How Presumptuous!  How Silly!  This smart, talented and beautiful woman solves dozens of problems a day, from the kids, to bills, feeding our family healthy on half what it takes, keeping the house clean while thing 1 and thing 2 race in opposite directions to destroy it, and trying her best to care for me in all my various moods of man-gruffness.

Our wives, almost all of them, take on the suffering of those around them while in the midst of trying to help. They don’t sympathize.  Instead, they really feel the pain, and asking them to NOT feel, like we can do, is impossible, because that’s how they were built.

What they need, then, isn’t for us to solve the problem.  It’s to hold them, and love them, and wrap them into our arms where they feel protected – and they can rest for awhile.

Don’t fix it – it’s not about the nail.