Judged By Love

About

I'm Timothy Eloe. I've been married since 1987. We've raised a family, made plenty of mistakes, and learned a lot along the way. This site is what I wish someone had told me — notes from a long marriage, attempts at a lived Faith, and an unfinished attempt to live well.

If something here resonates — or if you just want to talk — I'd be glad to hear from you.

Thoughts

Where There Is No Love When I first started this blog, I had this little idea that I would just put down some of the thoughts I had regarding marriage. Maybe just some of the ideas or considerations I had about being married and directed to both husbands and wives.... Remember the Sunrise I don't want to be overly morbid, but I've meaning to send this for awhile because it's been on my mind. I need this message, too.... It's on the Men If we're being honest--and I know I'm not as honest as I should be, way more than I'd like to admit--I believe we could say the vast majority of problems in our marriages are on us. They're on the men, the husbands. Me, you, (your husband if you're a wife reading this.) It's on us.... First Among Equals I've always wrestled with this idea: the man is the head, the woman is the heart, and yet somehow, we're equal. For years, I didn't know how to resolve this. If God holds us, as husbands, responsible for the family, doesn't that mean we have the final say? The "buck stops here"? How can we be equals... How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Sunday Sundays have a special character to them. They're a day to reset, reconnect, and recharge - not just spiritually, but also as husband and wife. After a week of busyness and distractions, Sunday can be the space where we reawaken the spark between us, filling our hearts for the week ahead.... All In We saw a movie a while ago called The Magic of Ordinary Days, which is actually better and much cleaner than the book it's based on. It's a slow-moving romance with lots of relationship drama, and because I really love Melissa, I watched it AND stayed awake through the whole thing.... Begin Again The Ballad of the White Horse by G.K. Chesterton is an epic poem recounting the Catholic King Alfred the Great's heroic fight to rally his people and defend England against Heathen Danish invaders. It masterfully intertwines historical events with mythic elements, delving deep into themes of faith, ... Never Enough My wife saw the Greatest Showman, and of course, I got to listen to the soundtrack (a lot), and when I first heard the song 'Never Enough', not being a real good listener, I heard this song of a lady for whom nothing was enough - not the stars, the fame, nothing. She wanted more and more.... Couple's Getaway Welcome Letter Why did you come here?... The Girl in the Mirror One of my favorite books on marriage is For Men Only. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it! It even comes with a quick start guide - perfect for men! One chapter, titled The Girl in the Mirror, is especially powerful, and I want to share its core message with you this week. But don’t ... There's still something to be learned I read an article by [Mark Merrill](https://www.markmerrill.com/) that really resonated with me. He compared marriage to a classroom—one where we are always students, constantly learning about our spouse. His insight was a great reminder that when we said “I do,” we didn’t just commit to love our ... Affair Proof Your Marriage Infidelity is, without question, the most devastating betrayal a marriage can endure. While we can’t control every circumstance in life, we can take deliberate, proactive steps to safeguard our marriages from the influences that threaten them. Today, the threats aren’t as blatant as they once were... Chivalry - dead or alive? I read a really great article on [Mark Merrill's blog](http://www.markmerrill.com/) a few years ago, and i just found a copy I printed then to remind me, so I thought it would be worth sharing. By the way, if you don't already read articles by Mark - you should! His website is here: [www.markmerri... New Year's Resolution One of my main 2025 New Year’s Resolutions is to finish writing all my 2024 resolutions.... Make Love To Your Wife... Before Someone Else Does I KNEW that would get your attention!... Gratitude Ironic, isn't it? It's Thanksgiving weekend - a time to stop and give thanks - and instead, we work like crazy to prepare a lovely dinner for family and friends, jump into Christmas shopping on Black Friday, tackle home projects on a "free workday," collapse in exhaustion on Sunday, and dive back in... We are being watched! And no, I’m not talking about the NSA, the Russians, or Google.... You Promised! The day has come and gone, but with witnesses and God and everyone, we made a promise!... Sacrifice Watch this video: [2015 Rosary Procession - St. Mary's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onogdJN_So4)... On Being Each Other's Years ago - or perhaps it just feels like years - a couple facing serious struggles asked Melissa and me for advice.... What are you Reading? I think it's safe to say that a forest worth of paper has been wasted over the years in the form of unopened instruction manuals, and unread assembly instructions. Assembly Instructions? 'How To' Manuals? Almost as a rite of passage into manhood we have been conditioned to figure it out, learn as we... Coming Home - Part 2 When we come home after a day or week or longer of being gone, we need to create a space and some time to prepare ourselves before we walk through the door at the end of the day. We need to prepare ourselves for children who've been bad, a late dinner, and a frazzled wife. We can handle pretty much ... Coming Home All of us come home.... Believing The rubber tree plant in the driveway was the give-away.... Take this Quiz Take this short quiz. Then check your answers at the bottom and see your score! If you don't score very high, take the quiz every month until you do.... It's not about the nail Well, there's been a lot of pretty heavy emails lately, so I thought we'd change it up and give you something lighter.... Spoiler: We All Die In The End What are we doing?... Legacy My boys are grown men, with wives and children of their own, so it's a profoundly joyful time for me each year when they make it a point to visit me at the same time, and we go out to have dinner, drink beer, see a movie, and just be together.... All Talk Actions prove who someone is, words just reveal who they want to be....