One of my main 2025 New Year’s Resolutions is to finish writing all my 2024 resolutions.
Seriously. I have this too-ambitious tendency to make pages of resolutions and goals because I see all too readily the gaps between where I am and where I want to be – physically, professionally, spiritually, and, of course, in my marriage.
And too often, I write and plan and consider all the things I should start and do and finish, but then life, or projects, or laziness get in the way, and I just don’t get to them.
I do believe resolutions are important – but what’s even more important is the follow-through. Instead of creating a long list of goals, I think we should pause and reflect on what’s truly at the heart of the disconnection in our marriages.
But, what if, instead of chasing many changes at once, we chose just one resolution – something simple, but at the core of our struggles? Something that, if mended or repaired, would be like a mountain spring – small and quiet, yet as it flows outward, it nourishes everything in its path, growing into streams and rivers. In the same way, the right resolution – one rooted in love and intention – can become the source of greater peace, joy, and renewal in our relationship with our spouse.
There are so many resolutions we could make to improve our marriages. We could resolve to spend more time together, to communicate better, to argue less, to pray more as a couple, or to build intimacy. All of these are good and worthy goals, and the internet is full of ideas, so I’m not going to bombard you with a list.
For me, however, after thinking about that mountain stream, I believe that gratitude is something I’m lacking, so my 2025 resolution is:
To consider (daily) and express (regularly) my sincere gratitude for everything my beautiful wife, Melissa, is and does.
When I think about the kind of husband I want to be some day when I grow up, it’s one who never takes his wife for granted. Melissa is the emotional anchor of our home, the heart of our family, and my greatest gift from God. But too often, in the busyness of life, I let her sacrifices, her kindness, and her quiet strength go unacknowledged.
This year, I want to open my eyes more intentionally to the ways she blesses me and our family every single day. I want to take the time to notice the little things – how she keeps everything running smoothly when I’m overwhelmed, how she gives generously without expecting anything in return, how she loves me even when I don’t deserve it.
I don’t just want to notice – I want to express my gratitude to her regularly. Whether it’s through a heartfelt “thank you” at the end of the day, a handwritten note left on her pillow, or a moment when I look her in the eyes and tell her exactly what I admire about her, I want her to know how deeply I appreciate her.
Because gratitude has a way of softening our hearts, breaking down barriers, and drawing us closer together. It shifts the focus away from what’s missing or what’s imperfect and shines a light on what’s beautiful and good. I believe this resolution – small as it may seem – will strengthen our bond and fill our marriage with more joy, kindness, and love.
As we step into this new year, let’s be realistic about our resolutions. Let’s choose one or two simple ways to love our spouse better, and let’s rely on God’s grace to make it happen. It doesn’t have to be complicated. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Maybe you’ll resolve to spend more time together, pray together, or simply be more patient with each other.
Whatever it is, start small. Be intentional. And don’t give up. Because resolutions aren’t about perfection – they’re about trying again and again. They’re about showing up for love every day, even when it’s hard. They’re about choosing your spouse, over and over again, with the kind of faith and hope that only grows deeper with time.
What’s one way you’re resolving to love your spouse better in 2025? Take a moment to reflect and make it concrete and real. And if you’re comfortable, I’d love to hear it too (but be ready to have me ask you about it occasionally this year 😉). Let’s walk this journey together and inspire one another to build marriages that are truly judged by love.