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Challenges in Marriage and Life

How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Sunday

Sundays have a special character to them. They’re a day to reset, reconnect, and recharge – not just spiritually, but also as husband and wife. After a week of busyness and distractions, Sunday can be the space where we reawaken the spark between us, filling our hearts for the week ahead.

We spend so little valuable time with our spouses, that the last thing we want to do is ruin a perfectly good Sunday. It seems like of all days, it’s the day we should reconnect and recreate that spark between each other to carry us through the rest of the week.

But I’ve had the opportunity and figured out how to ruin a Sunday, and as a cautionary tale, I thought I’d share it with you.

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December 22, 2024
Marriage and Commitment

Make Love To Your Wife… Before Someone Else Does

I KNEW that would get your attention!

But before you jump to conclusions, let me explain. I’m reaching back to an older, more nuanced and I believe profound definition:

“to make love is to have a profoundly tender and passionate affection for another person”

And that brings us to a question every husband needs to ask themselves – myself included:

Who is making your wife feel pretty, loved, and cherished today?

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December 15, 2024
Marriage and Commitment

All In

We saw a movie a while ago called The Magic of Ordinary Days, which is actually better and much cleaner than the book it’s based on. It’s a slow-moving romance with lots of relationship drama, and because I really love Melissa, I watched it AND stayed awake through the whole thing.

I was rewarded, though, because about halfway through, when talking about a quiet, simple, dedicated man, his sister says, “One thing you should know about Ray. When he makes up his mind, he’s all in.”

Pretty easy to miss if you aren’t paying attention, but there it is.

Once we make up our mind, are we “All in”?

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December 8, 2024
Personal Reflection and Self-Improvement

Gratitude

Ironic, isn’t it? It’s Thanksgiving weekend – a time to stop and give thanks – and instead, we work like crazy to prepare a lovely dinner for family and friends, jump into Christmas shopping on Black Friday, tackle home projects on a “free workday,” collapse in exhaustion on Sunday, and dive back into the regular grind on Monday morning.

In all this hustle, did we pause long enough to give thanks for our spouse? Not just a Hallmark-card “thanks for all you do,” but a deep, heart-wrenching moment of reflection on the kind of gaping, monstrous hole their absence would leave in our lives.

Here’s a challenge: think of everything they do – everything they are – that makes your life better, whether they realize it or not, and express your gratitude with specificity.

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December 1, 2024
Personal Reflection and Self-Improvement

Begin Again

The Ballad of the White Horse by G.K. Chesterton is an epic poem recounting the Catholic King Alfred the Great’s heroic fight to rally his people and defend England against Heathen Danish invaders. It masterfully intertwines historical events with mythic elements, delving deep into themes of faith, resilience, and the unyielding spirit of a Christian civilization standing firm in the face of chaos and despair.

Near the end of the poem, when Alfred is on the brink of total defeat, Chesterton beautifully weaves an image into the story:

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November 24, 2024
Challenges in Marriage and Life

Never Enough

My wife saw the Greatest showman, and of course, I got to listen to the soundtrack (a lot), and when I first heard the song ‘Never Enough’, not being a real good listener, I heard this song of a lady for whom nothing was enough – not the stars, the fame, nothing. She wanted more and more.

Then for some reason I really listened. You know, like when you’ve tried it your way four times and can’t get it to work, and your wife’s voice, who has been quietly suggesting a different way for fifteen minutes, gets through, and you pause to listen, and it works?

it’s the four words she says right before all of the ‘never enough’ over and over again…

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November 17, 2024
Perspective and Influence

We are being watched!

And no, I’m not talking about the NSA, the Russians, or Google.

Someone sent us a link to an article last week, reminding us that our marriage isn’t just for us—that our marriage is actually a living, visible example to the rest of the world. We have no idea of the good we do by living a truly Catholic marriage.

It reminded me of another article I read with a similar message—about how we are all being watched—by other couples, and by teens and young adults considering their own married life.

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November 10, 2024
Marriage and Commitment

On Being Each Other’s

Years ago – or perhaps it just feels like years – a couple facing serious struggles asked Melissa and me for advice.

We were in a panic! I love Melissa deeply, and she somehow loves me, but translating that love into guidance for others felt daunting. How could we possibly offer sound advice?

An hour before our meeting, clarity struck and we started writing:

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October 20, 2024