Marriage and Commitment

One of my favorite books on marriage is For Men Only. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it! It even comes with a quick start guide – perfect for men! One chapter, titled The Girl in the Mirror, is especially powerful, and I want to share its core message with you this week. But don’t stop here – get the book and read it!

If you have daughters, you already know this truth. If you don’t, you can easily observe it: Little girls are born with an innate desire to be lovely. They twirl in dresses, admire their bows and ribbons, and delight in all things beautiful. But it’s not just about owning pretty things – they want to be pretty themselves.

Would it surprise you to know that your strong, gifted, hardworking wife is still silently asking the same question?

“Do you think I’m pretty?”

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Make This Valentine’s Day Unforgettable—for Her and for You

So, Valentine’s Day is here once again. The whole country is nudging you—no, pushing you—to demonstrate your love for your wife. Everything is pink, red, and heart-shaped, and whether you like it or not, love is in the air.

But let’s skip the part where you say, “Well, she told me not to worry about it. She said she doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day and doesn’t want anything special.”

Because she does care.

Maybe not about the flowers. Maybe not about the chocolate. Maybe not about a fancy dinner reservation.

But she cares about you.

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Valentine’s Day: A Love Letter to Your Husband Valentine’s Day is here again—the season of roses, chocolates, and over-the-top romance. But let’s be honest—this day often feels like it’s for…

Infidelity is, without question, the most devastating betrayal a marriage can endure. While we can’t control every circumstance in life, we can take deliberate, proactive steps to safeguard our marriages from the influences that threaten them. Today, the threats aren’t as blatant as they once were. The digital age and shifting cultural norms bring subtle, insidious dangers that quietly creep into our lives. Navigating these requires wisdom, humility, and vigilance.

Here are a few practical strategies to help protect your marriage from the dangers of infidelity:

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First Among Equals

I’ve always wrestled with this idea: the man is the head, the woman is the heart, and yet somehow, we’re equal. For years, I didn’t know how to resolve this. If God holds us, as husbands, responsible for the family, doesn’t that mean we have the final say? The “buck stops here”? How can we be equals at the same time as me having the final say – being the one in charge of the marriage?

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I KNEW that would get your attention!

But before you jump to conclusions, let me explain. I’m reaching back to an older, more nuanced and I believe profound definition:

“to make love is to have a profoundly tender and passionate affection for another person”

And that brings us to a question every husband needs to ask themselves – myself included:

Who is making your wife feel pretty, loved, and cherished today?

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We saw a movie a while ago called The Magic of Ordinary Days, which is actually better and much cleaner than the book it’s based on. It’s a slow-moving romance with lots of relationship drama, and because I really love Melissa, I watched it AND stayed awake through the whole thing.

I was rewarded, though, because about halfway through, when talking about a quiet, simple, dedicated man, his sister says, “One thing you should know about Ray. When he makes up his mind, he’s all in.”

Pretty easy to miss if you aren’t paying attention, but there it is.

Once we make up our mind, are we “All in”?

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The day has come and gone, but with witnesses and God and everyone, we made a promise!

Remember what we said?

“I Take You, to be my lawfully wedded wife”

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Years ago – or perhaps it just feels like years – a couple facing serious struggles asked Melissa and me for advice.

We were in a panic! I love Melissa deeply, and she somehow loves me, but translating that love into guidance for others felt daunting. How could we possibly offer sound advice?

An hour before our meeting, clarity struck and we started writing:

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